Inside the app where Queer Gooners run for free

Not one night long ago, Jaxon Roman sat naked in front of his laptop with only a puppy hood so i did masturbate with single-minded fervor under the attention of eight other men watching on the screen.

It was a typical night for the 33-year-old Arlington, Va., program analyst. “When brothers praise me and say they enjoy (me), I get to that edge so quickly,” says Roman. His favorite cases are “when they all come to what I’m doing.” Sometimes, when he’s feeling particularly kinky, Roman, who is bisexual, asks for permission before climaxing. When it is granted, he leaves and his body, he says, trembles for 10 seconds. “Pure bliss,” he calls it.

At least a few times a month Bat buddieson social app For men who like to masturbate with other men, Roman will spend an hour online with his brothers. Masturbating—or “batting” as it’s known online—has always helped him relieve stress and find his center.

He is not the only one. Designed as an “all-in-one platform to embrace batting as a lifestyle,” Batemates is the latest haven of weird fun. “It’s a community of like-minded people who are just trying to be porn for others, virtually, while watching others pleasure themselves,” says Roman. “Group play with hotties around the world. What’s not to like?”

Although Batemates technically launched in October 2024, it wasn’t until last year that it really started to take off as a viable and safe alternative to other online dating platforms.

Almost all the batsmen WIRED spoke to said they got into the lifestyle in 2020, during Covid, because, as one of them put it, “there was nothing else to do.” Gone, at least momentarily, were the days of the discreet sauna circle jerk. public navigation dried up. Instead, men flocked to private video channels on Skype and Zoom for digital jam sessions where they batted with other men from around the world via the portal of their laptop screens. During this period, virtual sessions became so popular that they occasionally peaked with more than 100 people in a single room.

Everything changed last year. Skype was shut down in May. Zoom sessions reported more frequently. (“Sensitive content”, including pornography, nudity and “other content intended to cause sexual arousal” is prohibited, according to the company’s acceptable use guidelines; (Zoom did not respond to a request for comment.) Some queer voters have since decamped to Teams, Microsoft’s chat and video conferencing app; others rely on chat forums like BateWorld — a Reddit-style platform for all things male masturbation that’s probably the most popular destination for batsmen — as well as Discord, Telegram, and Reddit to find bros to bond with.

Batemates has emerged as an exciting replacement. “All the corporate tools just banned us,” says Batemates founder Johan Guams. “As members of the LGBTQ+ community, we had no space. I was really upset by the hypocrisy of the situation, especially when it’s something that everyone does.”

Batemates wants to put an end to the corporate sanctification of adult content. It’s an ethos that the company has completely woven into its brand. Exclaimed a recent advertisement on: “Your friends. Your boss. Your coach. Your colleague. Everyone hits.”

Microsoft declined to comment, but according to both its digital security policy and she terms of use“any images, videos, audio, text or links that depict or imply nudity, sexual acts, sexual arousal or sexual violence” are prohibited on Teams.

Although Guams, who is 31 and from Paris, has also been a regular in various Zoom batting sessions during the pandemic, he has often left them wanting. “I was like, OK, I’m masturbating on Zoom, but I don’t know who these people are. There’s no control. I can’t keep in touch with them. Sometimes you get crazy people. The experience just felt complicated.”